i feel used. used and thrown away. i really do wanna get away. away from everything. away from him. he is distracting me from everything. everything that i had my sights upon; cruelly snatched out from my grasp. that selfish one didn't even need it, didn't even want it. took it away and just discarded it, just like that.

i feel like running away, far away, the furthest that i can go, away from here, from all these shite. but why? why, oh why, oh why; is it so hard to forget. so hard to erase. why is is so hard to blast out of this sickening orbit. why in the first place does everything revolve around you? why can't i just stop. i wanna get away. get rid of you. your scent, your touch, your everything. you keep coming back into my mind, though i try my hardest to forget. from the first time i laid my eyes on you, to the last time i saw you, turning your back to me, walking away, away into the arms of another. all i thought was erased, yet, somehow, it managed to surface. again and again. why can't i just let go? let go of it all. you hurt me too much, too much. yet, i still wanna get close to you. why? why am i addicted? to such pain, to such ugliness, to such hurt? why can't i just walk away, like you did? i'm being obsessed. i needa just say my goodbyes. bury you deep down, erase you from my memories. all those times, good and bad. just get lost, won't you? why can't i just stop thinking. stop thinking bout you? i thought i was over. over you.

i need help.